This is a really important year for me

Entered uni.
Began to be true to myself.
Finally shared with my parents, my ambition since form 3
Got new friends.
Changed my outlook
Lived without my parents
Extended my tiny world
walked out of the dark
Leant how sceintific real science actually is

and many more

anyhow, happy new year people~

Nerdy Eagle

I found out that people actually said I was a nerd and an eagle last time.

Even till now, I was never a person to judge others based on looks.
I refrained myself from discussions denouncing the appearance of others to the level of an animal. Its just something i felt not relevant.

Its just unfair to ignore the feelings of others like that, by judging them based on the outlook.

But much to my chagrin,
I was also a victim

Yea
I know I look like a nerd with my thick glasses concealing my small beady eyes and I look like an eagle with my screwed-up eyebrows

But hey,
I'm not an object for you to laugh at.
I mean if its so funny to laugh at my face, look at your own.
I bet it will be funnier

People like you who are ugly both in the inside and the outside;
You should just get a mirror and laugh at your own revolting face all day long

I thought I was invisible.
Guess I'm wrong after all
I still fit in one of those conversations meant to condemn looks

That was last time

I dont know how nerdy or eagle-ish I am now.
Maybe you should compare your own face with mine now, and determine which is nerdier? ;)

Let me justify my point here
If you were to insult the physical of others, I strongly suggest you look into the mirror before giving any snide remarks
You may not have any feelings, but others do.
So please respect them

PS : I honestly felt that those who used to diss me are in no position to comment too if I were to judge them physically

Home

I'm in taiping!~



But how come nobody's here?!

MY decision

I decided to take this approach from now onwards after some time contemplating

I feel that as a fellow coursemate, i need to inform you whenever you do something wrong and silly like that

I rather be considered the evil one or the one with the so-called bad mouth for now.

But I'm really really doing this for your own good.

You will never know you are wrong, unless someone tells you. And I am willing to be the someone

You may develop an animosity towards me, but I rather you do, than I watch you cross over to the bad side like that, and remain silent

You were so much of a better person last time

Maybe, you dont need to return to who you were, but you should at least change for the better

Life is about becoming a becoming a better person.

I feel i dont believe in being who you are and everyone else must accept it.

Of course, that concept is applicable to a certain stage, but it should not be used as an excuse to run away from the truth that there are problems with you attitude.

I am willing to accept your physical and other things that cant be changed.

But

for things that can be changed, and should be changed, I am unwilling to compromise

Please do not use the concept of "I'm just beinf who I am" to run away from things

I killed a person

Its reaching the end of semester 1.

After spending 2 semesters here, i would say that life gets more interesting day by day.

so many bittersweet memories we shared together =)

such fond memories

SIGH

Despite that, I still cant bring myself to ingnore the bitter moments that clouded them

Today i woke up feeling terrible and guilty.

I was invovled in a conspiracy against a certain someone.

Someone who is often judged unilaterally.

Someone who used to be a great person.

Someone who used to help me regardless of the situation.

But, that person has changed.

His desperation to vye for popularity and seek attention became his undoing.

The fact that, there are many other things he did that pissed everyone, booked him a

one-way ticket to become an outcast.

Now, he is like a tiny island besieged by us, rough oceans.

But

he still tries his best to fit in no matter what.

His attitude sickens me, but his perserverance amazes me.

The fact that he is human like all of us, shows that he need friends. But everyone, including me are turning our backs against him.

Then, i question myself,

Why did I opt to exile him?

why couldnt i just accept him for who he is, or just help him change?

Maybe i still lack compassion

Maybe i still need to learn how to practise metta

SIGH

I dont know how I can stand being in his shoes; carving a fake smile on his face to hide his sorrow, pretending he is still part of the family despite knowing that he was already disowned, and facing people who refuse to face him.

No man is an island. And no man deserves a treatment of that sort.

but his sickening attitude is really distasteful, and it annoys me to no end

SIGH

this is a post, full of contradictions.

My heart tells me to avoid him, but my conscience tells me to befriend him

What should I do now?

I really dont know

Tolong lah T.T

Who has a car???????

i really want to go to Cheras pasar malam next wednesday.

Its the biggest pasar malam in Malaysia

About 1 km long

PLease!!!!!!!

Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really need to go.............. T.T

I want to eat the taiwan pizzas, penang asam laksa, ice blended honeydew, and so many more there...

A new moon in 2012

2012 was an underated movie for me.

For a movie that kept the level of suspense so high throughout 3 hours, and still managed to infuse so many sub-themes and moral values, it should be receiving more publicity than it is already enjoying

Despite being such an emotional and solemn movie, it managed to slip some humor very effectively in between.

The character development was extraordinarily good for a Hollywood movie

Definitely the best movie so far, this year (I'm still reserving judgementns for Avatar)

Watched it in Midvalley

Till today, the tickets are still being sold at an astonishing speed

New Moon was utterly dissapointing and way overated.

The pace was way too slow for me.

It didnt appear to be anything like an action-romance movie as it was publicised.

It was just pure romance.

The wolf-figthing scene was a letdown

And the fact that the wolfs look more cute than aggresive, was really frustrating.

Watched it in Pavillion.

SO was the movie that bad?

well,

About 15 people left their seats in the middle of the movie

(nobody leaves their seats in cinemas)

Chances are, if you are a girl, you might like it, coz of all the romance and shirtless men

But

if you are a boy, I sugggest you think twice before watching it.

my life now

this is definitely a boring semester

SIGH

I'm going back to taiping for Kathina

I'm sorry

i realised that i have really turned into a vindictive and bitter person.

after the JPA incident, i promised myself that i will never be defeated again and i will always stand up to those who oppose me.

These really led to a series of unpleasant events that really changed me

I became a sadistic freak

I was consumded by grudge

I Fought back at everything

I returned hatred in triple

That small incident has really turned me into a beast

I really threw away my human heart

i was inhumane

you think i'm exaggerating?

think again

Last time, if i were to see beggars on the street, i will take out my wallet without hesitation

But now,

i will think that, "Why must i give my money to you? why must i help you when nobody helped me when i needed and deserved it?"

I know

I have became and kiasu and kiasi idiot

I hurt people i know on purpose, and i feel happy doing it because i wanted to inflict the pain that was casted upon me, on them, to show them how it made me feel

you can say what you want about me being a lunatic monster

I dont mind

Because i agree with you

i really hope that i can change

the desire to prove my worthy has conquered me inside out

even my sister has been complaining how insensitive i have become

and no matter how i hate that, i have to agree with her

So now that i realised, i really want to change

and liberate myself from this silly vortex of spite

song 113 : JPA Scholar

It took quite some time, but they sent me an offer letter

Now, ren is under JPA in Nottingham

song 112 : A new style

I just got my hair cut in malacca

RM34.40!

most expensive hair cut i ever had

but i was pleased with the results
so i guess it was worth the money

though its severely pricy

song 111 : I think

I just realised something

The the Devil's Advocate is an improvision of an episode of jigoku shoujo

song 110 : H1N1

H1N1 is getting more and more serious
and every day, the number of people falling sick in my campus increases,
now i'm wearing a mask to leture everyday
better safe than sorry

Song 109 : Solitude and Sorrow

this is the first time i ever felt so lonely and sad in my life

and ironically the date today is 6.8.1991

I want to go home

this is the first time ever this date came without the presence of my family

i miss them,

my mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, sis and aunt

but

these are trivial matters, and its about time i learn how to get it off my head

song 108 : Midnight Melody

SGI Drama TEam 09' / LMS Representative

competed in states level today.

Midnight melody was awarded Best Script

And LMS snatched first place in States

will be representing Perak in National Level!!!!!!!

well done SGI team
I am very very very very proud of all of you.

I seriously hope i could see you guys perform in national level, if my exam date does not clash with your competition date

first time ever st. george represented LMS

and

First time ever St. george represented Perak

song 107 : All The Best SGi Drama

To our SGI drama members,
good luck in the states

do your best
I'm praying for you guys

you can do it!

Honor Virtutis Praemium

song 106 : Insensitive article

to the journalist who just lost his/her brain,



Whether or not Yasmin Ahmad was known as zulkilfi or whatever
we are NOT interested to know
we have not the slightest interest to pry into her dark pasts

so if you are trying to popularise
your dying and dull newspaper
by tarnishing the image of others;
i suggest you stop now.
You are only making a huge fool out of yourself
and gathering more people who will hate you

you may think this is funny and could give cheap publicity

Wrong!

This is not funny AT ALL
and yeah
its CHEAP!

nobody will even bother to take a glimpse at your articles in the future

song 105 : Rest In Peace

When MJ passed away, i wasnt really sad (at all)

but now that yasmin ahmad just departed

I'm damn sad
I'm now in the comp lab, posting this,
and my eyes are slightly watery

she was the best,
honestly

A star just fell from sky above
wherever it fell i do not know
but no matter where it crashed
i will always remember its shine till the end of my life

song 104 : Ren's 4 hours of mild depression

dear friends and family

things are fine in nottingham

i'm adapting well

Today we had Light, Waves and electrons

and i realised
things are not fine

not fine at all

i realised i dont know what the bleep was even going on
the feelings are mutual to all my other friends
everyone was whipped into a whirlwind of immense confusion

for once, i felt so helpless and unintelligent

when class was over,
i fell into a state of mild depression

some thoughts actually popped in my mind

was i really meant to be an engineer?
was taking up the course of engineering a wrong choice?
am i really a science person?

i kept falling deeper into the black hole of helplessness
then jacy and kin wai phoned me for dinner
we started talking about our ENOLWA class
and we decided that this is only happening to us because its like our first time doing a physics equation in 9 months
this should be normal

Plus photons are like something alien to us
first time hearing it
i mean, all of us used to have problems doing functions when we first started form 4
but in the end, wallah.
its like the easiest chapter for us.

then, i realised that whether I'm suit to be an engineer does not depend on one question.
i'll go forward and move towards my shining star no matter what.

so we studied together
and we worked it out!
we realised that the only reason we dont know how to solve the problems is that we did not understand the formula and the symbols.

the tutorial that i thought will be very hard, turns out to kinda easy somehow.

maybe i make judgements too early about the subjects befor i really get to know it
so
from now on
i will try my best to
OPEN MY MIND,
BEFORE I MAKE IT